Try the Steak

I had a very late night talking with someone who is just at their wits end. This person kept telling me that they were so tired of living the way they were, that they knew they had to change or their life was going to end in a tragic heap. They asked me over and over, "How'd you do it? How did you turn your life around?" I told them over and over that I had tried everything I knew, but only one thing worked.
We discussed my trips to rehab, psychiatric units, doctors, psychologists and counselors, and how each might have helped for a little while, I always ended up right back where I started... actually worse.
Deep inside, I thought I knew what I needed... that there was only one thing that would work. But I did not want it to be that "one thing."
There had to be another way... so I kept searching and trying.
But I was always empty. Always tired and depressed. I was only twenty-two years old, but my life was empty, worn out and had no meaning or purpose. I could be playing ball, which was the one thing I lived for... or at a party, or a disco, higher than a kite... with hundreds of people, dancing and laughing on the outside... but I was broken, empty and alone on the inside... to the point that I'd leave the crowd laughing, but by the time I got home, I was ready to end it all. Money did not work. Cars did not work. Crowds of people did not work. Sleeping with different women in different towns after a night of dancing did not work. I'd wake up in the morning disappointed that I had not died in my sleep. So, I kept searching.

A friend told me about the rush he got when he stuck a gun in someones face and robbed them. So I tried it.
He was right. There was an incredible rush... a sense of power and control. But it only lasted for a few minutes and it was gone too... so I'd have to do it again and again and again. Combining the drugs with the armed robberies heightened the experience, but still it was short lived and the guilt and shame of my actions was taking the depression to new depths. I just could not seem to find a way out. Suicide seemed to be the only answer and time after time I tried to take my own life.
I was hospitalized and forced into psych units repeatedly. Ironically, I began to find a sense of comfort in those places and drug rehabs, because I found others like me. The old saying, "misery loves company" is so true. Being around people who admitted they were miserable helped, but that meant staying in the psych unit... which I did for weeks at a time, only coming home for a few days before I'd end up in the hospital again and again. While it brought temporary relief, it was not an answer. There was only one thing that would work.

I thought I knew the answer all along. But I did not want it.
I hated it. I always thought that the answer was in church... but I was angry at God. I thought He had failed me. He'd robbed me of my dad and then my mom. He'd taken my brother from me. He'd caused my family to be broken apart and scattered... and I hated God for the pain He had brought me. My dad gave the best years of his life to the church and he died at 50 years old leaving mom with all of us kids to raise. The pressure was too much and she died just 7 months later. When I was 11 years old, I watched as my brother went into the church sanctuary by himself to pray one night. I peaked in at him several times as I heard him asking God to help him. The next day, they found my brother dead in his bed. He had died during the night in his sleep. And my anger at God grew. In my mind, religion was demanding and brought death... and I wanted no part of it.
Ironically... I was right.

I always thought that the answer was religion and going to church. But what I never understood was that religion was just another drug... a ball and chain to weigh me down. I had bounced in and out of "religion" for the last 10 years. I was very "religious" about going to church, even through the height of my partying days. The thing was, I went to church because I was trained to do that. Even more so, I went to church because if I wanted to play on their ball teams, I had to attend church. So I went. And at times, I really tried to live that life. But try as I may, I always failed. I kept falling back into the same old mess, the same pitfalls. In my mind, I determined that I was not one of the one's who would make it to heaven because I was filled with sin, so why try? I mean, I really tried... but I simply could not do it. I was not a "religious" person, and that simply did not work. It only brought more condemnation, guilt and shame down upon my head. But I was trying, so I'd pretend. I sang in the youth choir and did all the "church" stuff... but all the while, I was still drinking and using drugs. I'd leave church on Sunday night and head out to the disco to drink and snort the night away. And my depression and emptiness only grew. Religion was not working. I got to the point that I figured, "why try anymore?" and I stopped trying to hide and pretend.

As I told all this to the person on the other end of the phone last night, they finally said, "I'm confused. You're saying serving God is the answer... but it's not."  And I told them these words, "Religion and serving God are not the same thing. In fact, religion sucks!"
They cracked up laughing and said that I was really confusing them. I summed it by saying this:

Religion is going to church and hanging around church people and trying to become something which you are not. Going to church and hoping to learn how to change your life is useless. It's like hearing all your friends talk about a steak house and how good their T-Bone's are... so you start going to the steak house too. You see the steaks, you smell the steaks, but you never order a steak for yourself. You see how everyone else is thrilled with their steak, and seeing their enjoyment encourages you that you too one day will be like them. So, you go, week after week, month after month and you start becoming friends with the others in the steak house, and because you are around them so much, at times you smell like a steak. You might even order a salad, eat the rolls and a potato... but you never order a steak. So you leave the steak house, maybe filled for a moment, but still not satisfied, not feeling like you see others feel. You are hungry for something more. You cannot figure it out, because you are going to the same steak house as everyone else, but you are not happy. Before long, you'll quit going to the steak house, because it will seem like a waste of your time.

This is what "going to church" and religion do for you. If you do not "order a steak" you are never going to know what "the steak house" is all about. When you go to a steak house... order the steak! When you go to church...  try Jesus! The Bible says, "taste and see that the Lord is good" but most people, (like I did) never tasted of the goodness of the Lord... but merely observed what others did and tried to imitate them. When I completely surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, I "ordered the steak." When I "tasted" for myself what a relationship with Jesus was all about, I found what was missing in my life. I discovered that religion had deceived me... and that the answer was right before all the time, but I was trying to do it my way. Many people who have never tried a steak will go to the steak house, and order chicken or a salad... and they convince themselves they don't like steak. In the same way, a lot of people go to church and they try it their way... trying to hang around and hope something rubs off on them... but not willing to surrender their life to Christ. I discovered that going to church without surrendering your life and will over to Christ is mere religion. It might bring about some changes... but it will NEVER fill that empty spot. I'll say it again... if you are going to the steak house, you need to order the steak to understand what it is all about. Only then will you understand.

Not My Strong Suit

Patience is not one of my strong suits. In fact, it's probably one of my worst attributes. I want things done now if not sooner. I don't like to wait, and when someone tells me they are going to do something and then does not follow through... I have to fight hard to not just push that person out of my life. I know it is an issue, and I'm working on it. My I have to say, some folks have pushed me to my limit... and then some. A guy can only take so much, even when he is a Pastor. 

Finally

After a delay of several weeks, I finally was able to go for my stress test yesterday afternoon. I don't mind telling you that the last few weeks have been stressful in and of themselves. No matter how much you try to just trust in the Lord, when you are having pains in your chest, back and neck, fear begins to creep in and there is a war within. I really believed I was ok... but then when the pain ramped up, I'd hear the whisper in my head, "I'm going to kill you. You are going to die. Get your affairs in order." It takes a toll on you and you begin to question. So, I finally got to go in for the test, and in my mind, as they are putting the patches and cords all over my chest, I'm thinking, "you almost died on that thing a year ago."  I don't mind telling you again... I got pretty apprehensive. As they started the treadmill and I began walking, in my mind I'm thinking, "OK, when are they going to tell you to stop?"  The last two times I'd taken a stress test, I had failed them and had to be stopped as I was at the point of a heart attack while in the process of the test. A couple of minutes into the test, they increased the speed and incline and as I watched my heart rate go up, my nervousness also increased. Three minutes later, there was another increase, then another, and another. By this time, I was much further than I'd ever gone before, and I had my heart rated well above the target area, and the nurse asked if I was doing all right. I told her I was, and she said, "remember you need to let us know when you are about to give out."  I kept going and we've now been going for more than 12 minutes and she told me she was calling the doctor in. I thought there was a problem, because each time before, when the doctor came into the room he immediately stopped the test and had me lay down. The doctor entered, told me to that I could stop and to quickly get on the table. He did not utter a word as he did the echo on me. I was watching his face, and his lips were pursed tight and his eyes very intent on the monitor. I was really getting nervous as I was anticipating the worst news and expecting to be taken across the street for surgery. Finally he said, "It all looks great Pastor."  I was stunned. This was new territory for me! I asked, so now what? He said, "take care of yourself and I'll see you in 6 months." In fact, he decided to take me off one of my medications, which thrilled me, as this one has a lot of dangerous side effects and risks associated with it. I felt like 1000 pounds came off my back. I asked him about the pain and he said that it most likely is due to the accidents that I have been in, but that my heart was very healthy and there was no sign of blockage anywhere.
I cannot begin to express how much better I feel about things today, not having to worry every time a muscle in my back twitches or tightens. I'm so glad to know that while there may be pain, my life is not in danger with each twinge of that pain. I feel like I have a fresh start!

Welcome to Healthcare "Reform"

I just called the office of my cardiologist to check on my stress test appointment, since I had not heard back with a time for it. I was transferred to a woman who has been trying to schedule the test, who was very frustrated. She told me that she had just spoken to my insurance company and that they had told her the stress test was "still pending" and that they "had up to 14 days to days to determine if the test was needful."  Welcome to the world of Obamacare folks, and as my cardiologist told me recently, "it is only going to get worse." How ridiculous is it that when you are having chest pains, they now have 14 days to determine whether or not you are approved for a test that could save your life. As my doctor says, "This is how people die."  He told me that it will take him and his office at least 8-10 hours of time to push through my approval from the insurance. He says, "This is time, energy and money that I should spend to help you, but I must spend it cutting through the red tape which costs you time and money, and some people their lives."  This is what we are facing.... and as my doctor say, it will only get worse when the full law kicks in.

The woman I spoke to this morning commented about how utterly foolish this whole thing is, adding that someone who does not work and has not intention of working can lay around on the couch all day eating junk food and watching TV and then after the doctor's offices are closed, go to the emergency room because they have a headache, and no one will question their treatment and bill running into the thousands of dollars... which the taxpayer pays for. But because I have insurance and try to do things the right way, I'm penalized and am told to sit around for 2 weeks while they determine if they will pay for my stress test. She told me that she was not telling me what to do, but that if I happened to show up in the emergency room in Peoria having chest pains that they'd probably just take me in for angioplasty and we'd be certain if there was any problems and the insurance would have to pay, and that it would cost them almost 10 times as much as doing the stress test.  Now, I ask you... how stupid is this healthcare reform that we are moving into?

Sail Boat or Windmill?

This morning James Cossey, the Church of God Administrative Bishop for the State of Michigan posted the following on Facebook. I contacted him and asked for permission to use his post here. The first section is a devotion from "Our Daily Bread" followed by Brother Cossey's writing. 

Excellent thoughts Brother Cossey! Thanks again for allowing me to pass this on.

******

A man who grew up on a ranch in West Texas tells about a rickety, old windmill that stood alongside his family’s barn and pumped water to their place. It was the only source of water for miles.

In a strong wind the windmill worked well, but in a light breeze it wouldn’t turn. It required manually turning the vane until the fan faced directly into the wind. Only when properly positioned did the windmill supply water to the ranch.

I think of that story when I meet with pastors from small churches in remote areas. Many feel isolated and unsupported—caregivers for whom no one seems to care. As a consequence, they grow weary and struggle to bring life-giving water to their flock. I like to tell them about the old windmill and our need to daily reposition ourselves—to intentionally turn toward the Lord and His Word and to drink deeply from Him who is the source of living water.

What’s true for pastors is true for all. Service for God flows from within, outward. Jesus said, “He who believes in Me, . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38). It’s when God speaks to our depths that we are able to touch the lives of others. To refresh others, let’s return to the Source of life regularly.

When our hearts grow weary,

When our spirits dim,

He will go before us,

Leave it all to Him. —Anon.

When you’re weary in life’s struggles, find strength in the Lord.

******

Let me expand on it a bit and compare a WINDMILL to a SAIL. Many of us as believers want to be like SAILS. We want to "get somewhere," to "go somewhere," and to "keep moving." To do so, we try to catch the latest wind and see if it will move us along. A "fresh word," a "prophetic word," or a "fresh touch" is what we thrive on. This is why some people bounce from revival to revival and become professional church hoppers! Problem is, sails have no rooting. They are attached to boats that skim along on the surface of the water, and they are often victims of the wind as surely as being blessed by the wind. Sails are great recreational vehicles. "Christian sails" are usually just recreational Christians!

A windmill, on the other hand, doesn't "go anywhere," doesn't "move along," and doesn't appear nearly as attractive as a moving sail. But it is attached to a structure with deep foundations, usually reinforced with concrete. And while the sail moves along at the wishes of the wind, the windmill stands firm and harnesses the wind for productive purposes.

The windmill braces itself and takes the brunt force of the wind head-on, for it is only as the wind hits the windmill head-on that the windmill can be productive and perform its assigned task of pumping water or creating energy. The windmill doesn't run away from the pressures that it faces, it turns itself toward the pressure it faces. Indeed, when the pressure of the wind changes directions, the windmill's vain must be adjusted so as to again face the pressure head-on. It is only the force of pressure from the wind that makes the windmill productive. A Windmill Christian is like the Psalm 1 man that David wrote about, "Planted by the rivers of water that brings forth fruit..."

Next time you and I face the pressures of life--work, family, ministry--remember that instead of turning away from the pressure or praying for it to be relieved, we should perhaps double check to see that our vane is adjusted so that we are facing the brunt of the pressure. Only then can we be productive. Unless, you just want to "sail along" with no productivity. -- James Edwin Cossey

I'm Afraid America is Doomed

Yesterday, our President did a flip flip and announced to the world that he now supports the right for same sex marriages. I won't go into all of that other than to tell people that they need to pay attention to this man and his actions. The ONLY reasons he came out with this announcement is because of the events of the past week. VP Biden backed him into a corner with his comments on gay marriage; a move which the advisers to the President admitted "angered" the President. This caused wealthy donors to the Obama campaign to publicly state that if the President did not come out in support of same sex marriages, they would with hold millions of dollars from his re-election campaign. Funny, when that happened, within a couple of days, his stance on gay marriage had "evolved" as he put it. Wake up America... he will say or do ANYTHING to get dollars and votes.

Enough on that.

The purpose of my blog today is not to discuss Obama, but rather what the reaction to his announcement has been like. I have to say that I've seen this coming for some time, still I'm heart broken with the responses I'm seeing coming from America's youth. Before I go into all this, let me take a minute to give my viewpoint, just so we are clear. I am not "anti-gay" nor a "homophobe."  I have many friends who happen to be gay. I have people who are very special in my life, and I love them, just as they are. Now understand, that does not mean that I "approve" of their lifestyle, but their choices in life does not alter my love for them as human beings. My stance is based on the Word of God, and it will not change. By comparison, I have friends who are atheist, Muslim, Hindu, (and other religions... or non-religious beliefs). I disagree with these friends completely on their stance and belief, but it does not mean they are not my friends. I'm concerned for them, and I make my view clear to them... but they are still my friends. As friends, I will not try to force my belief on them, BUT I will let them know (because I care) that I feel they are making a wrong choice that will lead to destruction. Let me put it in a way that may help the reader to understand where I am coming from.  I have a friend who I dearly love who happens to be a diabetic. This man is very overweight, and he is constantly eating and drinking things that are killing him and will destroy his life. I don't "nag" at him, but I do point out to him that he is taking years off his life and destroying the quality of his life. I get so deeply frustrated at him that at times I want to just scream at him because of what he is doing... but it is his choice. His choices are his choices, and he must live and die with those choices. But I still love my friend. Nothing will change that. I view my friends who are gay in much the same manner. It is their choice. I would not be a friend if I did not warn them clearly that according to the Bible, they are heading toward destruction of eternal consequences. But once I've warned them, I still love them. I pray for them and I try to walk out the love of Jesus Christ before them, and hope that they discover the truth of God's Word for themselves and make the decision to follow Christ. To bash and trash their choice for their life is NOT what Jesus would do. I hope that makes my stance fairly clear.

Now, on to the topic at hand...

As I said, I've seen this coming for quite some time, but last night, I saw my fears coming to light in the words of many of the young folks. Today's youth have the mindset that it is a "right" for same sex marriage. Not only that, many of them have expressed it in this manner: In America, we have the right to do what ever makes us happy, and no one has the right to stop anyone else from being happy.

Really? That is an extremely DANGEROUS position! Suppose that I am a racist (stop right there... you said I have the right to do or be anything that makes me happy.)  As a racist, it makes me happy to see  Jewish people suffer and die... so, according to what the youth are saying, I have every right to torture and kill Jewish people, and no one has the right to stop or hinder me in any way. Extreme, yes... but you see my point. Suppose someone finds pleasure and happiness in torturing dogs... you've said they have that right to their happiness. Suppose what makes me happy is stealing from others? I have that right... this is America! What about the person who really enjoys the money they make by cooking and selling Meth? Do they have that right? After all... this is America. Suppose a person finds happiness in having sex with animals... you've said this is America and in America we have the right to do anything or be anything that makes us happy. Yes... I am using extreme examples, but the point is, this is a philosophy of life that is flawed in a major way. There must be perimeters laid down. The question is, "who determines what those perimeters are?"  The young people have been indoctrinated by a liberal education system and they are now the voice of our media and are writing the text books... and to a large extent, our laws. Folks... we are in trouble!

I was recently talking to a few young people and one of them said to me, "you are too old to understand."  She went on to say that I was to absolute in my thinking. You see, for a few decades now, our schools have been teaching that there are no absolutes. These "kids" I and I were discussing the whole gay issue at the time and they could not understand how I could say that God is against homosexuality. I said, "it's in the Bible" and I showed them what God's Word says. One of them said to me, "I don't care what that says, we are living in 2012... and that is too old fashioned."  And here is the crux of our problem. These kids all attend church and all acknowledge Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, but they "don't care what the Bible says" because it is too old fashioned for them. So the question is this... If we throw out the Bible, or parts of the Bible, on what standard then do we live? Who makes the rules? Who sets the perimeters? The answer is scary. The rules change to fit the situation. When we reach that place, the boundaries no longer exist, because we all have the right to set our own set of boundaries... and if my boundaries cross over your boundaries, then you are intolerant and your way of thinking is obsolete, and you must get out of the way because you are infringing on my right to be happy.

This is exactly how our young people today think, and when a nation begins to think this way, society rapidly spirals out of control because there are no absolutes, no rules for society and a nation cannot survive in that manner. I hate to say it, but short of a spiritual awakening in this nation, America is doomed to fail.

The Great Exchange

I ran into a woman in the store a little while ago that I had not seen in quite some time. This woman's life has been just ravaged by her drug use over the years, and it shows. In fact, I was not really even sure if it was her. This woman is about my age, but her physical appearance looked more like that of someone much older and beaten down by life. I went over and said hello, and said, "Sally, right?" (Not her real name.) She looked at me very intently through cloudy eyes and I could see her straining to recall. Then she said, "you're from the church." I told her I was and reminded her of my name. She told me how happy she was to see me and exchanged a few pleasantries; and then she said something that just about ripped my heart out. She said, "I guess that since you are still here there is still time to get right. But I don't think even Jesus would want a used up whore like me." She ran away from me at that point, and when I called out to her she screamed at me to leave her alone. I respected her wishes and walked the other way, but I prayed as I finished my shopping that the Holy Spirit would touch her heart and let her know that she was loved and that it was not too late. I kept my eyes on the look out, hoping to get another chance to talk to her, but I did not see her. I asked the cashier if she'd seen her and she told me that she'd left her cart and ran out the door, so I paid and left the store.

As I was loading my groceries in the back of the van, I felt a shaking hand touch my back. I turned around, and there she was, tears streaming down her face. She asked me to pray for her, that she'd have the strength to get off the pipe and off the streets. I prayed with her, and I started to tell her what to do to make her first steps. Her response was both flattering and earth shaking at the same time. She stopped me and said that she knew exactly what she needed to do. She said that she remembered me preaching many years ago and saying that we need to change our "want to's".  She said, "pastor, I know I what I have to do or I'm going to die and go to hell... but I can't get my "want to" changed. I'm in love with that rock so much that just don't want to give it up."
That floored me. She remembered something I'd preached probably 5 or 6 years ago... she knew what she needed to do... she knew she was going to hell unless things changed in her life... but she still did not want to change, because saying good bye to crack was just too much for her to face. As I drove away, I was thinking that she was literally trading eternity in heaven for a crack pipe, and she is fine with that. I can't get that out of my mind. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that people do the exact same thing, only instead of it being drugs, it might be any of a number of things that they just are not willing to lay down in order to serve Jesus. The thing is, if they would only listen and understand that God does not ask us to clean up first at all. He will take us just as we are... and then, with the help of the Holy Spirit, he will begin to clean, shape and transform our lives. God wants to offer us "the great exchange" where he takes the broken pieces of our lives and gives us new life, filled with hope for the future.  I only hope "Sally" will hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit and surrender herself to Him and then allow the Lord to do the work that is necessary in her life.

Changing Your Focus

A few days ago I was shooting some pictures for someone and my eye kept being drawn to something in the background that I absolutely hated and it was just ruining the shot. I kept trying to get this shot, but it just was not right. I was getting very frustrated, as I could see in my mind what I wanted, but I could not get the shot. I started fussing about the junk in the background, but it was not only the object in the background, the entire thing seemed out of joint. I just could not get the shot right. I probably took at least 25 or more shots and I just could not get what I wanted. I stopped and talked with the person I was shooting and she said to me, "can't you just edit it out?" I'm like, "Duh?" But I was still unhappy with what I had. And it hit me... what was wrong here was that I was so consumed with that thing in the background that I was not focusing on what my subject was doing. We shot it again, and immediately I knew what was wrong. When my focus shifted from that stupid thing in the background and put my focus on what I was trying to do, I knew right away what was ruining the shot and was able to make the necessary corrections. Two more shots and I had exactly what I was looking for.

There is a great life lesson in that scenario that I walked out in my photography. I've come more and more to realize that what has your attention is what will become your focus and cause you to waste a lot of time and energy because you are focused on the problem rather than the solution. Winners... or those who overcome are positive thinkers. They do not give in to the temptation to become negative. They refuse to waste their energy and thoughts on their obstacles.  Instead, they focus on their goals and how to attain them, rather than what obstacles stand in the way. Only two things will consume you every day of your life… your obstacles and your goals.  What you choose to focus on is what will prevail in your life. Make a choice to stop looking at your failures and setbacks and all the "junk in the background" and shift your focus on the subject at hand and how to succeed. Failure is not an option!

Philippians 4:8-9 from The Message version of the Bible says:

 8-9  Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Joel Osteen Sees Mormons As Fellow Christians

Well, he is at it again. Joel Osteen, in an interview with CNN refuses once again to take a stand and say that Mormons are not worshiping the same Jesus that we in the Christian faith worship. Repeatedly, over the years, Osteen has refused to take a stand that would be unpopular. It seems popularity means more to him that standing up for what is right. I've really tried liking this guy, but I just can't. At some point, he has got to stand up for what the Word of God says, and expose error and call a false gospel what it is.  Here is an except from the interview where he makes his statement. You will note, he even wavers in this answer, saying that Mormonism is "not traditional Christianity"... BUT, he gives them his seal of approval that God honors their brand of Christianity.  I'm sorry, but this junk just makes me sick.

"When I hear Mitt Romney say that he believes that Jesus is the Son of God, that he's the Christ, raised from the dead, that he's his savior - that's good enough for me," Osteen said in an interview that aired on CNN's "The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer."

While Osteen said Mormonism is "not traditional Christianity," he believes Mormons fall under the Christian tent.

"Mormonism is a little different, but I still see them as brothers in Christ," the pastor argued. That goes a big step further than many other Christian leaders, who have not gone so far to say that Romney is unquestionably Christian.

Osteen also told Blitzer that he believes President Barack Obama is a committed Christian. Some conservative Christian leaders have questioned the president’s religion.

If you want to see the rest of the interview, you can see it HERE

Sometimes I Just Can't Help It

If you know me at all, you know that I have an ornery streak running through me and sometimes I just can't contain it. Well, before I go there, let's set the stage. You know how it is when there is someone in your life that for what ever reason, they just don't like you? We all have that person, maybe more than one, that they just can't stand you... but when they come around, they act all nicey-nice and turn on that sickening sweetness that just makes you want to puke. I mean you know that they are trying to cover up for the fact that deep down inside, they don't like you... but they don't have the integrity within them to just admit it and move on. I mean seriously, if you don't like someone, just turn the page and be done with it. But not these folks, they hang around, always talking about you behind your back, always trying to turn others against you, always wishing bad things upon your life, but when they see you, it's, "Oh Pastor D... it's so nice to see you! I've been praying for you and hoping things are going well for you..." And you know good and well that if a word came from their lips in prayer, it was a selfish tirade where they asked God to bring down fire from heaven upon you. I'll just say it... I HATE phony people!


Well, there are several people around town who are really like that, and it's funny how they seem obsessed with me. I mean, if you don't like me, just move on and quit watching me, quit trying to lay snares for me and try getting a life for yourself. But for some reason they can't. I mean, people who left my church 7 years ago are still consumed with knowing my every move. Still telling everyone, "Just wait, he is going to leave Galesburg. Just watch and see."  Hello? I've been here almost 8 years now... get a clue. You said that God had showed you that I would not stay two years, but I'm still here. I have to question just what God you are listening to? But guess what? At some point, I will leave. It may be to take another church, it could be when I retire, or it might even be when I die. But at some point, I'll leave. That's a fact... so just keep on telling everyone your updated pathetic (I mean prophetic) "words from the Lord" and one day you can say, "I told you so!"


There is one particular person who is way over the top with their obsession of me. They are constantly into my business and snooping to see what they might discover. If this person cannot find anything new, they just make something up. I don't know why this person dislikes me.. and to completely honest I really don't care! But it makes me laugh when I think about how far this one will go to try to convince me that they have no problems with me, but  what they don't know is that I am constantly getting calls from or talk to others who tell me that this person said they hated me, or was gossiping about me..., how I thought that I was so big and hot but that God was going to crush me to teach me a thing or two, and on and on.  I'm like, "Do you not have ANYTHING in your life that is more important than trying to run me down?"  Get a life! 


OK... so the reason why I am bringing this  up is because of something that happened a couple of days ago. This is where my ornery streak kicked in.
I've noticed several times that this person will be parked, sitting in their car where they can see my house, just watching. I've never made a deal of it, other than to tell my family how pathetic this person's life must be. Well, the other day as I was driving through town, my cell phone rang. It just so happened that I was about a block away from this person's house, so I cruised on up the street and parked directly in front of their house while I talked on the phone. It was a pretty long conversation, probably 20-25 minutes, and I just sat there. (Yes, I know, I was provoking them. Sorry?  Nah!) I purposely never looked in the direction of their house, but I just knew I was being watched. I finally drove away, never once having looked at the house. So today, I get a message from someone who had been talking with the person whose house I was in front of, and they had been telling others that I was out in front of their house for more than an hour, but that I was afraid to come to the door. In fact, this person had prayed and God had sent angels to keep me from coming to the door. 
Really? lol 


All I can say is, how sad. 

One Dimensional Christianity

Those who know me and who have sat under my ministry know that one of my key words is "balance."  There must be balance in all of our lives, and that includes in our Christian walk. A pet peeve of mine is people who like one area of teaching, and that is what they feed themselves on. They zero in on an area of study (such as prophecy) and they study nothing but prophecy. Note, there is nothing wrong with prophecy, but we need more than that. We could pick any subject, but the principle is the same. We must study the whole Bible, rightly divided. Otherwise, we are out of balance. Ever have a washing machine go out of balance? All it does is make a whole lot of noise, and waste a lot of energy. Not much more than that is accomplished. And so it is with our Christian walk.

Let's look at it from another perspective. Suppose there was someone giving a speech on the awesome wonder of the automobile engine, but when you went to hear him speak, all he spoke about was the crank shaft. He could stress how that without the crankshaft, the engine was worthless, because the crankshaft moves the pistons which compress the fuel mixture, which fires and the force of the piston recoiling from the explosion turns the crank shaft with more force, thus driving the transmission. And he could make a good case for the crankshaft being the most important part of the engine. However, another person on the other  side of town giving a speech on the awesome wonder of the automobile engine is giving a speech and he insists that the piston is the most important part of the car engine, for without it, there is no compression of the fuel mixture, thus no explosion, thus nothing to turn the crankshaft. In yet another part of town, a man is giving a lecture on the automobile engine, but he insists that the spark plug is the most important part of the car engine, for without it, there would be nothing to cause the explosion, so the piston and crankshaft are useless without the spark plug. In still another part of town, there is another man giving a lecture on the automobile engine, but he asserts that it is the distributor/electronic ignition that is the most important part, for if it were not for it, the spark plugs would never know when or how to fire, therefore there would be nothing to push the piston, and therefore nothing to turn the crankshaft.  I could go on, but I hope by now you are getting the idea. Each part or component of the engine is vital. Remove any of them, and the rest of it does not work. It takes them all, working at peak performance in the correct order and balance in order for the engine to work. So it is with our Christian lives. When we study one area, or focus too much on one area, we get out of balance, and that throws everything in our Christian walk out of kilter, leaving us either not performing, or performing at a less than optimal way, rendering us ineffective.

It is easy to get caught up in what I term, "one dimensional Christianity". We have to guard ourselves, and discipline ourselves to study all of the Bible, not just the parts that we like or excite us, for just like that car engine, all the parts are essential to one another in order to balance out and keep our spiritual lives functioning in harmony and with productivity. Think about it... have you become prone to studying one area of our Christian life to the neglect of others? Find your place of balance. It may just be time for a spiritual tuneup.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Thursday of this past week I started having chest pains. Ironically, this was a year and one week from when I wound up in the hospital last year with a blockage to my heart and had a stent placed. I'm thinking, "no way could this be happening."  I really did not think it was my heart at first, and told Daniel that I did not think it was, but to kind of watch over me. Granted, I'd been under a ton of stress lately, so, yeah... it could have been my heart, but I just did not think so. The pains came and went all afternoon, into the evening, and at times I was having trouble breathing from the pain. So, finally I told Libby it was time to take me in to be checked out. Of course, this just added more stress as I'm thinking of the new medical bills to be piled on the ones we are still paying. Things looked pretty good in the ER, but of course they wanted to admit me for observation and to run some tests the next day.

Of course, I got almost no sleep that night. The bed was worse than laying on the ground. I mean it was horrible. My back, hips and legs were just aching by morning. Then, the noise in the place was like being in an airport. People everywhere, nurses and techs in and out all night. About the time I dozed off, they came in to take blood. You know the drill. My family doctor came in early in the morning and told me that things really looked good, but they wanted to run more tests. He asked me if it was possible I'd had some sort of injury to my chest. I told him nothing I could think of. So, we ran several more tests, and they all checked out very well. In fact, they told me that my heart was very strong, stronger than most people's. My risk/problem is not the heart, it is blockages... which stress is a leading cause of. Nice.  After the results of that test, and nothing showing any problems, I began thinking more and it hit me. A week or so before, my lawn tractor was stuck in gear and I had to move it, so I picked it up from one end and drug it. I knew afterward it was a dumb thing to do. The problem is, your body does not ask your mind for permission... or the other way around. I just grabbed it and did it, without stopping to think that I'm 53 years old, not 33. I was sore for days. But I was healing up fine. What happened though was that on Wednesday of this past week, the garbage men were going to be doing their spring big pick up day, and I carried out 4 chairs, one of them a huge recliner. Apparently I tore the muscles in between the rib cage, thus the chest pain and difficulty breathing.  Don't get me wrong... I'm sure glad it was not my heart... but how stupid can a guy get?