42 years, 3 months, and 11 days

Yesterday I got to meet a couple of men who are living in a transition house as they are working on recovery from alcohol and drugs. If you've not been down that path, you most likely cannot really appreciate where they are. I've been there... I get it. These guys were a joy to be around as they told their story about their "wake-up call" and began this journey. After they shared, I told them that I understood because I've been there, and one of them asked the question... "How long have you been clean?"  It actually caught me off guard and I had to tell this guy that I honestly don't count the days anymore because it's been so long. But it got me thinking about my own quest for a new way of life. There was a time in my life that I actually could not function without my alcohol and drugs. I suddenly remembered a particular day when a friend of mine challenged me and told me that I was an addict. I got mad at her an we fought about it. It was a Friday afternoon and she challenged me to go the weekend with no chemicals. No alcohol or drugs until the following Monday. I told her that it would be easy. I was sure in for a wake-up call. Friday night was difficult, more from the standpoint that I just did not know what to do with myself. Sheer boredom drove me crazy, and every thought was how that I needed to go out to a bar or disco and I rationalized it by telling myself that I could just hang out with my friends. I went, and I began to realize that I had nothing to discuss because the conversations were pretty much about how messed up (high) everyone was or about the party they were going to the next day. I left that lounge fairly quickly and went home. Saturday was when reality kicked in. I was on edge all day and very short-tempered. I went to spend some time with a friend and he told me that I was being a real ***hole and that I needed to have a couple of drinks and smoke a joint to calm down. The whole day went like that. Later that evening I went over to my sister's house and I tried to hang out with her family and talk and I realized that my thought process was out of kilter and I could not even string together a coherent sentence. I remember getting up and leaving without saying a word and driving just a few blocks to a local bar that I'd never been to before and sitting there for the next five or six hours getting completely wasted in my anger at myself for not being able to make it more than 28 hours without some sort of chemical assistance. That was the day that started me on a path toward acknowledging that I indeed was an addict. It did not happen immediately, but I started on that path that day... the same path that these two young men had now begun. That guy's question made me realize something... I'd gotten to a place where I had forgotten to be grateful for the change in my life that came through Jesus Christ, and in particular, I'd forgotten just how blessed I am today because I no longer chase that high... I chase Jesus. 

And Kervin... in answer to your question; by the help and grace of Jesus Christ, I've now been clean and sober for 42 years, 3 months, and 11 days! I'm grateful! I'm blessed! and I'm whole, because of my "higher power" Jesus Christ!