23 June, 2013
How Do You Define A Problem?
Sometimes it is hard for me to remember what it was like back when I was drinking and drugging. Nights like this, I'm reminded of how denial works and how far someone will go to cover or make excuses for their abuse of alcohol and/or drugs. I was called this evening to assist in a matter where a man was pretty messed up and was taken to the ER by the police. I won't go into the details to provide anonymity for the family, but an option was given to him to sign himself into treatment, or he was going to be arrested for something he'd done while under the influence. At first he was agreeable, until the doctor started asking for signatures and suddenly he was just furious that his family, myself, the police and doctors could suggest that he had a problem. Long story short; he backed out of going to the hospital and chose to spend the night in jail, and face the charges in court rather than give up his substance abuse. I asked him if he realized just what an insane choice he was making, and he went into a tirade about how I was a Bible thumping "so and so" and I knew nothing about him or his life. I said, "Well, I know you are sitting here making a choice to go to jail and if convicted you could go to jail for quite awhile, and even if you win, it's going to cost you a lot of money to fight it, when all you have to do is sign that paperwork and stay for 48 hours and then you are free to leave if you choose... that sounds a pretty crazy to me man." I'm standing there thinking, "What's wrong with this guy?" Then I went back 30 something years in my mind and I remembered family members telling me how crazy my life was and that I needed help. I couldn't (or wouldn't) see it either. They were all fools and I was the only one who had any sense. When the mind is clouded with chemicals, a person is filled with delusion. They think they have the world by the tail and they can't see that it is the other way around... and the world has them by the tail, and they are trapped. Nothing worse than being in a trap and not even knowing it. A person cannot even begin to get help or change until they first understand that they have a problem. I hate that this guy made this choice, but I tried, and I cannot make choices for him. No one can. I just hope that when he wakes up in the morning he will begin to see that his life is on a fast track to destruction and make the right choice.