We all have them... You know those days when you just snap on your kids? I had one of those days Monday. My daughter was being particularly moody (hello, 16 year old girl?) and when she gets like that, she can get quite mouthy. Ashley was wanting me to sign something for her and I was trying to get her to tell me what it was that she was asking me to sign when she really got mouthy. I snapped and ripped the paper into pieces. I know, real mature; but I was at my limit. But that is no excuse, it was a really stupid, inappropriate thing for me to do. I am supposed to be the adult, right? As soon as I did it, I realized what a stupid thing I had done, but I was so angry at that point that I could not deal with the situation. I told her to just back off and leave me alone, which she did. I felt bad, but at the same time, was glad it was over. But the truth is, it wasn't over, I had just thrown my weight around and silenced her. The truth of the matter was, while her mouth was inappropriate, my behavior was far worse. To be honest, I had not felt good all day, and the day had been stressful to boot and Ashley became the target of my frustration.
Right here, before everyone, I want to tell my baby girl that I was wrong, I am sorry Ashley, and I ask you to forgive me for my behavior. I know you've already let it go, but I still owe you an apology.
I was prompted to write this tonight because of a conversation with someone else who was having a similar situation and had done something almost as boneheaded as I did on Monday night. I decided to write this to all of us parents, because we do all have days like the one I described and we end up doing something we regret.
So, what do we do when we have days like this where we've blown it with our kids? We can ignore the whole thing and justify ourselves by saying that we can’t take it back, and while that is a truth, we can certainly say we’re sorry, that we were wrong, and ask for forgiveness. I really believe we should do this for a couple of reasons. First, it’s the right thing to do. Second, we should lead by example and we should teach them to do the same thing. We will accomplish this if we teach them that we can humble ourselves enough to admit we were wrong.