23 August, 2008

Well, he's gone

Thursday of this week we took Daniel to the University of Illinois in Champaign/Urbana and left him. It honestly was one of the most painful days of my life. I could not bear to leave him. I watched him unpacking his stuff and I saw him both filled with excitement and apprehension at the same time. It's funny, we've spent the last 18 years raising him up so that he could make it on his own. Now it was his time to soar.
I know he is more than ready, but I sure did not want to let him go. It had nothing to do with fear that he could not make it... but it had everything to do with how much I'm gonna miss him. He's been gone 2 days, and I miss him so much more than words could ever say. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and was walking through the house praying and there was a keen awareness that the house is missing a key component. It is gone. Daniel will be back home to visit and for summers, but our house will never be the same. The dynamics that make up the house have shifted. Now it is time to adjust... but it is going to take some time.

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