30 December, 2016

People You Need to Walk Away From and Leave In 2016

Can you believe that we are at the end of 2016? This year has flown by in the blink of an eye. In fact, for most of us, it seems just yesterday we were all awaiting the crash of our computers as we crossed into the new millennium… and suddenly we find ourselves on the threshold of 2017. It hardly seems possible that 17 years have come and gone so quickly… but this reminds me that since time flies by so quickly, we need to count the days and make them matter.  I've come to understand that time is too precious to waste time on people who suck the life out of you. We need all learn that what we will accomplish next year greatly depends on the people you surround yourself with. Or, another way of looking at it is to say that it greatly depends on which people you decide not to surround yourself with.  With that in mind, I wanted to take a moment to write about ten types of people we ought to sever ties with and not drag them into 2017 with us. When the clock strikes twelve on December 31, 2016 and you step into 2017, leave some baggage behind and watch and see how much better the coming year will be for you.

So... Let's look at who you need to walk away from as you enter into 2017. 

1. The people who always manage to hurt you. 
People are people and we can (and do) all hurt others at times. But then there are some people really add little, if anything good to our lives and for the most part, only add stress and pain. The problem with this one is that the only reason that these people add pain to our lives is because they mean so much to us. They could not harm us if we didn't care and care deeply. So, the reality is that we tend to allow them to remain a part of our lives because we cannot bear the thought of them not being there. It's a catch 22. But if you have someone in your life who can’t manage to stop hurting you, it's time that you do yourself a favor and cut that person off. This is important… "Pain is only good if it teaches you a lesson." In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to use you as a punching bag. 

2. The people who don’t respect you. 
People who show respect deserve to be respected. That's simply how this "respect" thing works. Be we all know that we have people in our lives who seldom (if ever) show you the respect which you have given to them… it's time to kick them to the curb. Here's the thing… you have to have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you and remain a part of your life. Forgiveness is one thing… being walked on is another.

 3. The people who use you. 
OK… let's be brutally honest here… the truth is that everyone uses everyone to some degree… and that is usually okay. I mean, the whole reason we socialize and interact with others because we find that it will benefit us in some shape or form. If we didn’t believe it would, then we wouldn’t find sufficient reason to interact with them. But we all know that there are some people in our lives who use us in ways that end up hurting us. While most people will use us and by doing so, either maintain or improve our wellbeing, there are others who are like parasites who use us and leave us worse off, sucking us dry.  It is this kind of person who we should not allow to have a place in our life. Throw them out NOW and do not drag them into 2017 and don't let them return later! 

4. The people who lie to you. 
Even though some will say they never lie, the fact is that everyone lies... at times.  For example, we pretend to remember someone, when In fact, we are clueless as to who they are and we are hoping something will jog in our memory banks as we blow smoke when the reality is we are lying and ought to simply admit we cannot remember and begin with a clean slate. These type of "lies" are generally harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the people you trust... and you shouldn't!  Fill your life with trustworthy people and you’ll be far better off.
Find people who will speak truth to you and leave the liar in 2016 as you move forward. 

5. The people who bring more stress than usefulness. 
Contrary to popular believe, not all stress is a bad thing… in fact, it’s what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. But if you learn to use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress can actually be a healthy part of our life. However, there is a very important rule of thumb concerning stress that we must come to terms with and hold fast to. Our goal should be that we are only stressed by situations… not by people. Here's the thing… If you have people in your life who constantly stress you out, that’s your mind telling you… trying to motivate you… to dump some weight from your life. For goodness sake, life is stressful enough on its own and none of us need people in our lives who continually multiply that stress!  

6. Two Faced People….
You know, those people who smile to your face and then talk about you behind your back. In my humble opinion, this type of person is the scum of the earth. They are untrustworthy, unfaithful cowards who don’t have the guts to speak their minds. These individuals enjoy pretending to be your friend while trashing you to the rest of the world. These people will ruin your reputation and in case you have not learned this, reputation matters! Walk away from these people and shut the door! 

7. Two faced people, part two…
These are the people who don’t care about you but pretend they do. We’ve all had people in our lives who act like our friends only when it’s convenient for them or they need something. This type person is a paradox… they can be a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help from you…  but when you need their help they’re miraculously nowhere to be found. These people are especially damaging to us because they give you the impression that you can lean on them for support, but when you reach for their shoulder, you fall over and hit the ground because they are nowhere to be found.

8. The people just taking up space. Everything in life is limited. Resources are limited and you had better learn... TIME is limited. What each of us can accomplish within a lifetime is limited. We can’t, and never will be able to, have it all, no matter how long we live or how hard we try. This is why you have to be very careful with not only what you choose to do, but with whom you choose to do it with. You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time. You just don’t have the time, energy or mental fortitude to handle more. Choose wisely.

If you’re filling your life with individuals who sap your time, energy, peace, joy, finances and happiness and give nothing back… you need to let them go. Simple rule of thumb… "If someone isn’t adding to your life, then, by default, they’re taking away from it." Leave them in 2016 and build a better inner circle in 2017.

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