22 July, 2011

Bubba and Comany

I forgot to blog about this last week by the time we got home, and my wife reminded me of it last night. Our last night in Myrtle Beach, we ran out to the store for something and was planning on getting the car washed and filling up the gas tank. The van was absolutely covered with salt residue from the ocean and I wanted it washed before I put the luggage carrier back on the van, so that it would not grind the salt into the paint. So, we run to the store and then come out to go to the car wash which was just around the corner from Walmart. This was one of these semi-automated car washes where there are still guys working that do some of the cleaning. We noticed that they had apparently closed while we were in Walmart, but were not certain, some of the lights were still on and the 3 workers were standing next to the building talking. Now, I have to tell you, these 3 guys looked like they had just walked off the movie set of Deliverance, and one of them looked strikingly like Clint Howard from one of his "bubba" rolls in the movies, such as in The Waterboy.  I'm serious, I'm thinking, "Woah, we have found "redneck central" here!

So, I pull up next to them, roll down the window and asked if they were closed. The Clint Howard look alike says in the deepest southern-redneck drawl you can imagine, "Yelp, close 8:00."  Up north, that's "Yes, we close at 8:00." (It was just past 8:00 at the time." So we asked if there was any other car washes in the area. The same guy says, "Not like this'en thayer ain't."  It was all I can do to keep from laughing. I said, "that's ok, are there any other car washes in the area?"  He says "Yep."  So I asked, "Can you tell me where?"  He says, "They're all over the place." (You have to imagine the extreme southern slur... kind of like the Earnest T. Bass on Andy Griffith.)  I said, "I'm not from around here, can you help me out by telling me where one might be?  He responds, "Ah don't know whay're yer a headin so ah cain't tell ya."   I'd had enough. I said, "Never mind, and drove off." My wife and I were just cracking up. These guys were the only stereo-type red-necks we had run into on this trip, but man, did they ever take the cake!

The really stupid part is, that when we found out where a car wash was at, turns out that from where we were sitting in the parking lot talking to Bubba and company, if we had done a zig-zag out of the parking lot, turning left and then right, and driven half a mile, that road would have dropped us right in front of a nice automated car wash. But these yokels could not tell us that, and we drove miles out of our way to get gas and then back track right back there.  I swear I heard banjos playing! lol

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