24 February, 2011

Even In Sickness

Most of you that are close to me know I've really been sick this week, and still am.  If you know me at all, the fact that I have not even been out of my house since Monday night ought to say a lot. I don't like being cooped up and usually, even in sickness, bad weather or what ever may be happening, I get out, if only for a drive. This week, I've just been down for the count with no energy, coughing and sneezing until my chest, back and head feel like they are going to explode, and I have not even tried to get up and going.  It's rough.
Still, there is a bright side. 

I have often shared with my church that it seems like when I am down for the count and got nothing left to give, that is when the Lord speaks to me the clearest. I'll be honest, this week has been a tremendous battle between my flesh and my spirit man. And Satan has been right there accusing and trying his best to torment my mind and spirit. I've not slept well, just a little here and a little there, but can't seem to put  more than a couple of hours together at one time. So, I'm not just sick... I am worn out. And in that weakness, here comes the enemy of my soul, telling me that this is it, that pneumonia is coming back on me and this time he is going to take me out. Truthfully, I pretty well ignored him, but he has pounded and pounded at me, and I found myself thinking, "what if I died?" What about my wife and kids? What about my church? You know how that goes.  I can't say that it "got me down" but it was there.  All week I have reminded myself (and others) that even in sickness, I am blessed. Still, here he would come... taunting me. Telling me I was not going to see my baby graduate or walk the wedding aisle. I'd shrug him off and tell him I was not buying it... but truthfully... it was in the back of my mind.
Today, he was really pounding at my thoughts, when suddenly I heard my self saying in a sermon not long ago, "Satan is the father of all lies and the truth is not in him! What ever he says, take the opposite of it and embrace it, claim it, for that is what he is trying to keep you from!" I've been reminding him ever since that I'm healed, I'm strong, I'm whole, I will live and not die! I am blessed!

Just a few days ago at church I mentioned the words to a song that a friend in Christ, Randy Newton had penned in a song, saying that no matter where we look, we can see the promise of His presence. "There you are." Even in sickness, he has promised us his presence. He said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So, with that promise, we know that even if we do not "feel" him, he is there. Always!
Randy wrote: "There you are in the darkness, in times I cannot see. In moments of sunlight, when things are clear to me. There you are to guide me, you love to light my way. Forever you will love me, forever you will stay. There you are..."

He is always there. Everywhere you turn. He is always there. 
I share my heart today to tell you... someone... that Jesus Christ is always there. If you look for Him, you will find Him!

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