Finally

After a delay of several weeks, I finally was able to go for my stress test yesterday afternoon. I don't mind telling you that the last few weeks have been stressful in and of themselves. No matter how much you try to just trust in the Lord, when you are having pains in your chest, back and neck, fear begins to creep in and there is a war within. I really believed I was ok... but then when the pain ramped up, I'd hear the whisper in my head, "I'm going to kill you. You are going to die. Get your affairs in order." It takes a toll on you and you begin to question. So, I finally got to go in for the test, and in my mind, as they are putting the patches and cords all over my chest, I'm thinking, "you almost died on that thing a year ago."  I don't mind telling you again... I got pretty apprehensive. As they started the treadmill and I began walking, in my mind I'm thinking, "OK, when are they going to tell you to stop?"  The last two times I'd taken a stress test, I had failed them and had to be stopped as I was at the point of a heart attack while in the process of the test. A couple of minutes into the test, they increased the speed and incline and as I watched my heart rate go up, my nervousness also increased. Three minutes later, there was another increase, then another, and another. By this time, I was much further than I'd ever gone before, and I had my heart rated well above the target area, and the nurse asked if I was doing all right. I told her I was, and she said, "remember you need to let us know when you are about to give out."  I kept going and we've now been going for more than 12 minutes and she told me she was calling the doctor in. I thought there was a problem, because each time before, when the doctor came into the room he immediately stopped the test and had me lay down. The doctor entered, told me to that I could stop and to quickly get on the table. He did not utter a word as he did the echo on me. I was watching his face, and his lips were pursed tight and his eyes very intent on the monitor. I was really getting nervous as I was anticipating the worst news and expecting to be taken across the street for surgery. Finally he said, "It all looks great Pastor."  I was stunned. This was new territory for me! I asked, so now what? He said, "take care of yourself and I'll see you in 6 months." In fact, he decided to take me off one of my medications, which thrilled me, as this one has a lot of dangerous side effects and risks associated with it. I felt like 1000 pounds came off my back. I asked him about the pain and he said that it most likely is due to the accidents that I have been in, but that my heart was very healthy and there was no sign of blockage anywhere.
I cannot begin to express how much better I feel about things today, not having to worry every time a muscle in my back twitches or tightens. I'm so glad to know that while there may be pain, my life is not in danger with each twinge of that pain. I feel like I have a fresh start!