It's Time

The day I have dreaded has come. I've tried to ignore it or act like it is nothing... but it is killing me. In just a few hours I will load my daughters belongings into my van and she will move away. I'm so excited for her, but my heart is breaking. This is my precious jewel and I'm going to miss her more than I could ever put into words. Even now, tears are streaming down my face as I try to write these words. Life will never be the same again. After today, my little girl is gone.

It seems like only yesterday I held her in my arms for the first time and kissed her tiny forehead. In my mind it was only days ago when I left that hospital to buy her an outfit to come home in and came back with a bag filled with frilly socks. I just could not decided on one pair for my new love. The nights rocking her to sleep were never a drudgery to me, I loved the time holding her and singing to her our own special song, "Close your eyes and go to sleep, dream a dream with me." In fact often when she'd drift off to sleep, I'd just stay right there in that chair, watching her as she slept.  As she grew, we had our daily routine. When she awakened, daddy had to go back to bed so that she come come lay in bed with me for awhile. She'd rub my face and if I had not shaved yet, she'd say, "Daddy, you need to scrape."  Every morning it was the same thing; we'd play piggy toes, squiggly wigglies, gum drop nose and so on. Next I had to play musical Ashley, and I'd play her like she was a piano, a drum, a trombone, a saxophone, a guitar, a stand up bass, bongos... everyday, without fail, we went through our routine. Until one day, she just tired of it.

I could write forever of precious memories as she grew over the years, and the special bond that grew between a daddy and his little girl. But I know, that what I am doing is putting off getting with the task of packing her up. She's still asleep, and I'm dreading going in to wake her. I just want to savor seeing her lay there sleeping for just a few more minutes. It pains me that this is the last morning she will wake under my roof. Oh, I know she'll come home, and it will be special... but it will never be the same. Life changes today. In reality, that's a good thing. But my heart is breaking.

For Ashley... 
Like the sun in the night
You'll always be with me baby, in my soul.
You'll always be with me, where ever I go.

I love you little one.
Time to spread your wings and fly!