The Strength of My Life

After I posted my blog earlier today talking about the men of Heaven Fire that are coming to our church next week, I received a phone call from a friend asking me "how do you do it?" The woman who was on the phone who has known me since I was a teenager. Truthfully she knew me far better as a strung out and drunk kid who was known as being a bit crazy and suicidal. We'd lost contact after I went to prison until we reconnected through Myspace a few years ago. But this is a person who "knew me when," and she knows some of the struggles and pain I've contended with over the years. She has commented to me several times since we've reconnected how that she is amazed at the difference in my life. Today when she called she wanted to know how I can remain strong, how I can write about the things I write about in my blogs. She said that if it were her she'd try to bury that past and never remember it again. I can certainly relate to that, and in fact know others who have done just that, and I cannot blame them. But I explained that I feel like God has called me to use my story to help others. The message is clear that with Christ, all things are possible and new life really is NEW LIFE! Sometimes I wish I could just erase it all. My past hinders me a great deal of the time. There are things I will never be able to do or become because of that part of my life. That is part of the price I must pay for my irresponsible youth. One thing that my friend asked me is what caused me to write this blog. She said that the Darrell she knew in high school and for several years after was always so troubled and unstable. She talked about the numerous suicide attempts and the escalating drug use and then she asked, "Where did you find the strength? I sure could use some of that." I'll say it again, the difference is Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less.. only Jesus.

Not long after I was released from prison in April of 1984 I went to a Nicky Cruz crusade and he had as a guest singer a young woman named Leslie Phillips who sang a song that has been near and dear to my heart ever since. I have it on my computer today, and I play it frequently. The song was, "Strength of My Life." I find my strength in Jesus.

Here is a link to the song if you don't know it: Strength of My Life

And the lyrics:

I open my eyes to the sound of morning news
And wish for ten more minutes left to sleep
And as I get into the shower the thoughts of
Facing one more day
Overwhelm me and I begin to weep
And I’ve never felt like I’ve needed your help,
So bad

Verse 2:
Well, my tears are pushed away now for the
Sake of morning rush
’til the Bible on the table catches my eye
And I read that you are near to the hearts that
Break with grief
And I realize that I don’t have to try
To live life myself because you’re ready to help me live

Bridge 1:
And everyday I look to you
To be the strength of my life
You’re the hope I hold onto
Be the strength of my life

Chorus:
Be the strength of my life
Strength of my life
Be the strength of my life today
Be the strength of my life
Strength of my life
Be the strength of my life today

Verse 3:
Each day has it’s problems, it troubles and it’s tears
And it seems I’m always anything but strong
When I learn to know my weakness,
I understand your strength
And even when the hard times last so long
I won’t try by myself, I’ll just ask for your help
Each day

Bridge 2:
And everyday I look to you
To be the strength of my life
Breathe on me and make me knew
Be the strength of my life

Chorus:
Be the strength of my life
Strength of my life
Be the strength of my life today
Be the strength of my life
Strength of my life
Be the strength of my life today.