03 May, 2006

Sometimes the Cure Will Kill You Too

Those who know me well know that I at times suffer with migraine headaches, stemming from a car accident that I was involved in back in 1988. Thankfully, I do not have them near as often as I used to, although I do have headaches quite frequently. For the past few several days I had tried to fight off a full blown migraine, but it finally got the best of me yesterday.

When these things are coming on my eyes become very sensitive to light and my vision blurs. My ears become so sensitive that I can hear my daughter humming a song 3 rooms away and to me it sounds as if someone is screaming in my ear. The song of a bird outside the window is like a 747 gearing up in my head. Needless to say, I am not pleasant to be around when these are coming on. I am very moody, snap very quickly and to be honest I just wish everyone would go away and leave me alone. My family tries to help, and I love them for it, but they have no idea what I am going through. Every whisper explodes in my ear. Every touch is like fire on my skin. When I am forced to respond to them, the sound of my own voice echoes through my skull like a boy screaming into a cavern. It is a nightmare, pure and simple. Like I said, at least I don't have them as frequently as I used to.

When I feel one of these coming on, my wife always at some point say, "Why don't you go ahead and take the medicine?" Sounds logical and most people would think I am an idiot for not taking it sooner, rather than trying to fight these things off. Well here's the problem. The medicine I take will knock me out cold anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour after I take it. And I mean.. out cold! Sure, sleep comes... but it is not restful. I may wake up to find the headache gone, and I may not... or it may have lessened in severity. But the rest of what I am to wake up to is certain. I will be groggy for a day or two. My arms and legs feel like they weigh 100 pounds each. I literally feel like someone has draped a lead blanket around my body, as I can hardly make myself move at all. It is easier just to sit still. My thought process is slowed, my vision is blurred again and I feel almost like depression is setting in. The hangover is so miserable that I at times would rather suffer with the headache!

I took the medication last night.... now today I feel like I am dragging a couple hundred extra pounds around and I'm in that "hangover funk" or cloud and while it is much less intense than it was yesterday, I still have a headache. So I am wondering, was it worth it to take the medicine?
There has got to be a healing out there with my name on it to take this stuff away from me. It has been almost 20 years of this, and I am so tired of going round and round with this cycle.
Please keep me in your prayers and believe with me for my complete healing from these headaches.


Sean McKee said...

My dad suffered from the same thing and sounds like he was taking the same kind of medicine as you. His doctor told him it was stress related.

I'm praying for you.

Sylvia said...

I do not get migraine headaches but in 1996 I had to have a tumor removed from the back of my head.The headaches was really bad.I almost died( that is a part of my life that God had to be part of even when I was not living for him)So I know the pain you must be feeling.Your in my prayers.

Amy said...

Im sorry pastor, Im Praying now for you

Anonymous said...

I have only had two severe migranes in my life, and it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about them. I am definitly praying for you for God to reazch in there and relax all the blood vessel and to relax your blood pressure and everythign else that contributes to them.

IM praying now as I type

Sean McKee said...

Just a thought, have you tried going to a chiropractor?

michigan preacher said...

I also suffer from migraines, though not as severe as yours. I know the pain, brother. I'm praying for you!

me said...

I feel for you today Darrell.

Wouldn't it be lovely if there was a little soft white room we could climb into, and for a few hours do nothing, see no-one. We come come back from there bright as new.

I'll build one for you :)