The Dawghowse is a place inside the head of husband, father and Pastor Darrell Garrett. It's the place where the real me lurks.
Be forewarned: It's probably not what you expect. Sometimes it's a serious place... sometimes it's not. Sometimes my thoughts are deep... and sometimes they are just plain weird.
Welcome to my world!
In all the time I have written to this blog, I have only written asking for others to pray for me a few times, but today I find myself in that place where I need prayer.
I know that God has promised to never place more upon us than that which we can bear, but the burden I am carrying right now is so deep, so heavy that I just cannot stop crying. I know that there is a real purpose for this, that the Lord has placed this on me because He has a task, a job for me to carry out... and I want to be faithful to it, but it is a heavy load. Just pray for strength, wisdom and guidance and that I will stay the course.
Before anyone asks, let me say that I and my family are fine... this revolves around some areas of ministry that the Lord has given me to do. I love it, I really do; but this season I am passing into is going to be a difficult one.
I've always been a dreamer. I'm the kid that sat in class staring out the window day dreaming. I am the one who spent hours throwing a ball against the wall and fielding the grounders dreaming that I was Ernie Banks or Dal Maxville, going to be the next great shortstop to play baseball. I the one who watched a concert and dreamed of being up on that stage. I always had big plans, and idea for a business... always thinking, always dreaming. In fact, the mother of my best friend in high school nick-named me "Dreamer." OK... some of my younger "dreaming" was more in the lines of fantasy, but some of it was real dreaming, real hopes and things that I still hold on to and I am believing for.
OK, so here I am at 50, and I am still the "Dreamer," only my dreams have changed somewhat. Today, I dream of doing great things for God. I'm believing for what would seem impossible in man's eyes. The church where I pastor is growing. We've been seeing new people just about every week. We've see lives changed. It is an exciting time. We've been averaging more than double of what we were just a year ago and it looks and feels different at church. Yesterday, someone commented to me, "Isn't it great to see your dreams fulfilled?" I laughed at them and told them, "We have not yet even gotten close to my dream." The person said to me, "Well, you have big dreams, don't you?" I responded, "If you are gonna dream, dream big!"
A long time I ago I began to realize that so often in Christian circles we settle for so much less than what God wants to give us. I wants to give us hundreds and we settle for 90. He wants to give us the city and we settle for a small neighborhood. I think about the time when Elisha told Joash to smite the ground with the arrows and Joash took the arrows and hit the ground 3 times. The man of God chastised him and told him that he should have hit the arrows to the ground 5 or 6 times. It is a picture of how we settle for "good enough" instead of what God really has planned for us. Israel would only get a partial victory instead of being totally free because Joash "settled." I don't know about anyone else, but I am dreaming big. I've had people tell me that our building won't hold what I have asked for. Guess what? It won't! I know that as a nation we are spiraling into a recession, but I am believing God for hundreds, and believing that he will provide the funds for a building to house them in. I'm smitting the daylights out of my arrows folks!
I realized long ago that a dream becomes a reality because somebody wants it to be. It becomes a reality because someone dares to dream a dream. Someone dares to believe in that dream and they set out to make that dream become a reality. I'm dreaming... and believing for the hundreds. I'm believing for a youth group of more than 100. I'm believing for kids church that reaches 100 plus. I'm dreaming big, because I serve a great big God, and it is his desire that not one should perish... and I want to be used by him to make a difference in my little part of the world. Yeah... I am a dreamer.
I was sitting here thinking about when my daughter was a baby. I made up a little song that I sang to her as I rocked her. Part of it went, "So close your eyes and go to sleep, dream a dream with me.... cause when you dream a dream, you can do most anything." I believe that with God, ALL things ARE possible, and I am dreaming... and I am dreaming BIG!
Those in my church have heard me speak often about God's "set ups", those times where God puts us in the right place at the right time for a specific purpose. We need to be aware of these, listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit as He is whispering to us, and step into the "set up." This week has just been incredible to see how God was moving in my life and in the lives of several around me. It has just been almost unreal to see how pieces just fell in place over and over. The thing that is truly amazing to me is to realize that this is not supposed to be so unusual, but as we walk in the Spirit, this should be the norm for the life of a Spirit-filled Christian. The problem is, we usually are not really walking in the Spirit, but rather tend to wander in and out of that zone as we go about doing our own thing, rather than doing what God wants to accomplish in and through us. It's my desire, my prayer that I learn to "stay in the zone" where I am truly walking in the Spirit, and not be an occasional visitor. So often we tend to ask God to bless what we are doing, when we ought be doing what God is blessing.
So, my birthday is tomorrow and I will turn 50. Wow... FIFTY!!! Where did the years go? I can't be that old... Can I? Just doesn't seem possible. Wow... fifty years. It sure doesn't seem that long ago that we were running down to "Buttermilk Road" in Davenport to scavage through the trash heaps and find old beer cans to go in our beer can collection. But then I stop and think about it and sure enough, that was 40 years ago and Doug and I were just kids of 10. And those memories of crazy nights riding in the back of Tab's truck, egging cars and soaping all the fountains at McDonald's in Bethalto, the circle in Alton, Wood River city hall (and a couple others) could that really have been 33 years ago? Incredible! Singing with the guys in Heavenfire... riding three wheeler down in "the Bottoms" on the banks of the Ohio... how can you tell me that was 25 years ago? No way! Watching my beautiful bride walk through the doors of the church and not feeling worthy of her... over 23 years! The crazy times at Lee College with all the "mature" folks at Carroll Courts... water balloon fights that ended with the cops being called out... the bottle rocket fights... the incredible times making home made ice cream with a couple dozen other married couples... you mean to tell me that was more than 20 years ago? The doctor handing me my new born son, drastically changing my life forever... my baby girl that stold my heart... the incredible people I've known and pastored over the years... it is all flying through my mind today, and I find myself thinking what an awesome time I've had living this life and just how the Lord has blessed me and kept me down through these years. I've got brothers and sisters who have stood by my side through the worst years of my life and cheered me on in the best. I have friends in my life that I've been privileged to call friend for 20, 30, even 40 years. You've been there with me through so much, and I appreciate you more than words can say. In recent months I've had the opportunity through Myspace and Facebook to re-connect with old friends from my youth and discover that "real" friendships never die, even if they've been put on hold for awhile.
Fifty years... wow. Even sitting here thinking about it, it is difficult to believe I'm that old. I don't feel 50. I always thought that "older" people could not relate, but now that I am older... I realize that the kid is still alive in me, and I still have that inner desire to go soap a fountain, to pull the other pranks we used to pull... to put on the spikes and glove and play ball. I've finally discovered that the little boy never dies... he just slows down.
My wife has asked me repeatedly what I want to do for my birthday. I've never answered her. I realized today that I've always been a spontaneous kind of guy and the notion of planning it all out 2 weeks in advance in not in me. I'm still that crazy kid inside. Friends are taking me out to dinner tonight and my family is doing the same this weekend. I got to thinking about the great meals I'll have at these dinners, and the inner me whispered about what I really wanted... the thing I've deprived myself of for a couple of months because it is not on my Adkins diet... and I thought to myself, "hey, you can have an early birthday present" and I went out and got the ingredients and made myself a peanut butter and banana sandwich. The truth with my hand up folks... one of my absolute favorite foods that I have ever eaten is a simple peanut butter/nanny sandwich. Isn't that funny? I've been blessed in that I've eaten in some of the finest restaurants across the United States, and/or Europe... and I choose a simple sandwich? I guess it is true that the simple pleasures really are the best.
My wife and family will tell you that I am a stickler about being on time for everything. One of my biggest pet peeves is people being late. I was raised in an area where we were disciplined about this. "On time" meant 15 minutes early. When I worked in a steel mill, we all reported 15 minutes before we were to be on the clock, and almost everyone was on the job a few minutes before we were supposed to take over for the person doing the job before us. That is how we lived. Where I live now, people are not wired that way. "On time" around here seems to means somewhere around that time, generally 10 to 15 minutes late. When it comes to church, easily half the crowd shows up in just in time to rush in or 10-15 minutes late, and some come 25-45 minutes late and think nothing wrong with it. It's just the way things are around this area... and it is SO hard for me to stomach, because it goes against a lifetime of training and discipline for me.
Now, I bring this up, not to fuss about how people are, but to illustrate something greater. I taking the risk of offending people from my church and the town I live in, but I think if they will think this through, they will agree with me. In Galesburg and the surrounding area, there seems to be a mentality of "good enough." The time factor is a small example. This morning I got up and got ready to get my daughter to the high school early because she is a member of the Student Council. She is supposed to be there at 7:00. Earlier in the year she was always ready and out the door no later that 6:55, usually earlier. As the year has gone by, she has begun to slip and is later and later. This morning at 6:58 I was telling her, "you are already late, let's go." Her response was, "We never start until 5 after, so I'm good." Wrong response. I asked her, "What time are you supposed to be there?" She told me 7:00, but that everyone else is alway late so they always start late. I told her that I was not father of any of the rest of them, but that she was my daughter and my daughter was not going to settle for a "good enough" mindset, she was going to be a responsible leader and do the right thing, even if no one else did. Of course, she was mad, but I told her that as long as I had a say so in her life, she was going to live in such a way that she gave her best at everything, not "good enough."
OK... let me stair step this further... Yesterday I was talking with someone who used to be what I would term a solid Christian, but who I've watched slide further and further into a backslid condition. I confronted this person with what I saw in their life and they replied back to me that they knew they were not "as on fire as I used to be, but I'm not as bad as I used to be either." I was a bit taken back at first, but then I said, "do you think that if you had to stand before the Lord today that you'd be ok with giving God that answer for your life?" They said to me that they would have to hope for mercy because they really did not know for sure but they thought that they were almost where they needed to be with God. My response that I left this person with was, "A man who almost lands an airplane has a crash. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be an almost."
Which Jesus do you follow? That is the first words of a song that Todd Agnew sang a couple of years ago. (See lyrics and video below) This song came to mind today as I have been reflecting on several conversations that I've had with people over the past 2 weeks. It seems that so many have created a Jesus of their own liking. My generation used to get so angry and upset because the previous generation was so legalistic and dogmatic about what they termed "holiness". What they usually meant by holiness was how long was your hair, did the girls wear pants, did they wear makeup, jewelry and stuff like that. Holiness was measured by what we used to term "clothes line" standards. We've come to understand that holiness is more about the condition of the heart, which will, in fact, be reflected on the outside as the Holy Spirit does his work in us. But it seems now we've reached the place where we have thrown holiness out the window. People are shacking up and saying, "God understands my heart." People have become comfortable doing anything and everything they want through the week and as long as they go to church on Sunday, (at least once in awhile) they think God is pleased with them. In the past few weeks I've talked with people who are sleeping with people they are not married too, people who drink and smoke pot... and they honestly believe they are "on good terms with God." I've talked with people who have decided that they no longer need to go to church and they feel justified in this, and simply dismiss Hebrews 10:24-25 as "not pertaining to today." I've talked with people who feel they do not need to tithe or give to God because they are having a tough time financially. They simply dismiss the biblical commands concerning giving. And then you have folks like Joel Osteen saying that they want people of any faith (meaning different gods) to be able to sit in his service and learn how to have a better life and feel good about themselves. Yes, he has said this. Don't like it that I mentioned it? Too bad. Osteen is not preaching a gospel that cuts like a two edged sword, that draws people to a point of decision for Christ. He simply wants them to live their best life now, when the Jesus of the Bible was more interested in their eternal soul. Yes, there are a lot of different Jesus' being talked about and "believed in" but there is only one Jesus that will save your soul, change your heart and give you new life.
Which Jesus do you follow? Which Jesus do you serve? If Ephesians says to imitate Christ Then why do you look so much like the world?
Cause my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and liars He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant So which one do you want to be?
Blessed are the poor in spirit Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand
Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars He loved the poor and accosted the rich So which one do you want to be?
Who is this that you follow This picture of the American dream If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins But the Word says He was battered and scarred Or did you miss that part Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him
Cause my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and the least of these He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable So which one do you want to be?
Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I want to be like my Jesus! I want to be like my Jesus! I want to be like my Jesus! I want to be like my Jesus!
I have always been a fan of the Imperials, and when I heard this CD I had to have it. Several of the old Imperials came back to form the Classic Imperials and IMHO they sound better than the kids who are are out there using the original Imperials name. Hope you like this too!
So, this morning I've just come in from taking Ashley to school and I am in the middle of making some ham and eggs for breakfast when my cell phone rings. It is my wife's distinctive ring, so immediately my heart skips a beat, because if she is calling me that early, it is usually because something or she needs something done, so either way, my plans for the day are about to be messed up. Turns out this time she has just heard good news on the radio concerning the school system she works in and she just wanted to share it with me. (Whew!) As she is saying her good bye, she asks, "Oh, did you do something to the car? It's getting 3-4 miles per gallon better mileage since you had it." I answered, "Yeah, I turned the air conditioner off." For the last couple of weeks she had been driving with the air conditioner turned on at the same time she had the heat running in the car, and my son and I discovered this Sunday when I drove her car to take him back to school. Turning the air conditioning compressor off improves the gas mileage a couple of MPG, and when you drive 100 miles a day round trip to work, that will add up.
OK, so the purpose of my writing this is not to poke fun at my wife. (Really, it's not!) After I hung up the phone I was kind of chuckling to myself about the conversation and then began thinking about how such a small thing as pushing a button on the dashboard can make such a difference. The wheels started turning in my head about how the small things in life can make such a difference. I immediately thought about the car accident my wife was in back in December. The impact was forceful enough that the van she was driving was totaled. Thankfully, the SUV that hit her in the side hit exactly on the support between the driver's door and the rear door which made her van much stronger at that point, absorbing the impact. Had that SUV hit a fraction of a second sooner, the impact would have been into the door and Libby most likely would have been hurt much worse than she was. Only a fraction of a second, and a few inches difference, but the outcome was vastly different. There are countless examples that could be given, but I think the reader has the idea about how something very small can make such a big difference. I've read of numerous discoveries that have been made simply because someone altered a formula by a minute detail. The impact has been huge.
Now, let me shift gears a little and let's look at this in a spiritual sense. As pastor I frequently have conversations with people who are seeking for answers to issues or problems in their life. Inevitably I will hear something like this, "It's not like I'm that bad of a person pastor. It's not like I'm out killing someone or robbing banks or doing drugs." Hidden within the statement that the person is making to me is the underlying, unspoken statement, "I know I'm not doing what I know is right... but I'm not as bad as others." The fact is, people generally try to judge their life by comparing themselves to others, but the only standard by which we can really make such a judgment is God's standard; the Word of God. Those of us who are Christians can find ourselves slipping into the habit of saying, "Thank God, I'm not like them." (Seems like I read that somewhere.) First and foremost, let's remember, no matter how "good" or righteous we think we are, the Bible clearly tells us that our righteousness is as filthy rags. It's not about how "good" we are, but rather have we confessed our sin to the Lord, asked for (and received) forgiveness, and repented (stopped doing) those sins. In other words, we must have the blood applied. Forgiveness and righteousness comes from God and God alone through Christ Jesus. Never forget that. That said though, there is an expectation that we cease to live in the manner we did before we accepted Christ. Most people would immediately say, "I have changed! I don't drink, don't cuss, don't (fill in the blank)" Point being, we don't do all the "big" sins anymore. I understand that. I am no longer a drunk, an addict, a thief (and so many other things) like I was before I met Jesus, and I thank God for the change he has made in me. But can I tell you, that those "big" things that used to be such a temptation in my life, they just are not a temptation anymore. I have no desire to do those things. None, zip, nada. Just is not there. And the devil knows that it is pretty much useless to try to throw those temptations in front of me, because I recognize those things right away and run from them. But what he does do is he tries to slip little things under my spiritual radar. The Bible tells us that "the little foxes spoil the vines; for our vines have tender grapes." Let me share it this way. The devil seldom goes for the areas of our life where we have matured. He goes after the tender spots, the parts that have not yet matured and we have not learned to guard. The tripping points in most of our lives are not the "big" sin areas that we all know and recognize. It's those little things. They creap in and catch us unaware and we find ourselves slipping away from God and losing our passion for God. It may be something as simple as hobby that begins to pull us away from times of corporate worship and private study of the Word of God and our private worship. It is our drive to earn more money, so we take a second job that takes away from these areas. It may be a boy friend or girl friend that comes in and now we are so captured by them that we slowly slip away from God. It can even be that we become so busy doing the "religious" things that we find ourselves detracted from our relationship with Jesus. Over the years I've been in the minsitry I have sat with literally hundreds of people who have said something like, "I don't know how I got to this point. I didn't mean for this to happen. How...?" It was the little things. Those small things that crept in... the small changes... and before they knew it, they found themselves far away from God with a broken marriage vow, a DUI, or some other place or problem that would have never imagined happening in their life. The small things make a difference.
I remember a few years ago when my family and my neice and her children were vacationing on Galveston Island and we were all out in the water just relaxing. The waves were not very strong one day, but we did not realize there was a strong undercurrent. Over and over we'd realize that we had drifted quite a distance down the beach from where we had started out and we would have to call to all the kids to move back to where we belonged. At one point we were out in the water and Libby was floating in a tube. Suddenly Libby began to call out for help. She had been pulled much further out away from the shore than she had realized and the tide was pulling her out to sea. I had to swim out to get her and tow her back in, which was not easy fighting the pull of the tide. When we got back in closer to shore, Libby was crying and kept saying how she did not realize that it was happening to her until it was too late.She said she kept trying to swim back in but that she just kept getting pulled away and she was wore out. Thankfully, she swallowed her pride and called out for help.
Folks, that is exactly how it works in the spiritual realm! Satan lulls us into a place of complacency, and begins to slowly pull at us, not with a sudden jerk, but little by little, until we find ourselves in a place that we are helpless in ourselves to do anything. We need a savior. But we have to swallow our pride and admit that we've drifted away and need help. Jesus is right there waiting; waiting patiently for us to admit that we cannot do it our own. Our own works, our righteousness just is not enough and it never will be.
I guess I'd just end this today by asking you to take a good look at your life and ask yourself where you are. Have the little things crept in?
I found this buried in my files today. I don't recall where I got it from. If you happen to know, let me know so I can give credit for it. I just thought it was worth sharing.
A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?" The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm. "It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it," he said. "If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier." "What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again." We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on. So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for moment if you can. Pick it up again later when you have rested...
In all the time I have written to this blog, I have only written asking for others to pray for me a few times, but today I find myself in that place where I need prayer.
